From The Eyes of An Observer

Funny how it seems. Most people would feel happy to see the sun. I, on the other hand, would love the cloudy day especially after it rained. Today, for instance, is one such day.

The cool weather today reminds me of the after summer rain in Sheffield. My heart was filled with joy and I could just smile. The cool breeze was blowing softly on my face. And I just close my eyes and took a deep breath. For a moment, every thing seems to be a picture perfect day. If only I could just stand there for a while longer to savor the moment. Especially at that particular moment when cars are not plenty on the road and the place was peaceful.

Bad though. It reminds me of Sheffield. And I have a longing to go back to Sheffield. I miss the cool weather there. I miss the parks that they have there. I miss the walk at Castle Market. I miss the bus rides and the train rides. I miss the walk at the mall in Meadowhall. I miss the Sheffield Fayre held on the Bank Holiday. I miss the corn fries of the Burger King at Castle Market. Oh! So much things that I miss.

I’m just so emotional today. Better go down and have a walk to enjoy the air again. At leaset I know I would be happy afterwards. =)

Yup! That's right. I've lost to a 5 year-old kid! I have to held my head shamelessly. Its just unbelieveable! Seriously unbelieavable. My 5 year-old nephew has a girlfriend!

If you thought there was an error about my typing, let me typed it again: 'MY 5 YEAR-OLD NEPHEW A GIRLFRIEND'. Gosh! Kids nowadays! So young and they know the concept of a love relationship. I'm amazed that at such a young age, my nephews are already at it. Mind you, that 5 year-old was the youngest nephew who has a girlfriend. His brother, age 7, also got a girlfriend.

Their nanny told me how those kids brag to her about their girlfriends. Always sitting beside them in the bus. The girlfriend always hand in hand with him. Gosh! I better not say that much. Otherwise, I would be worsely demotivated. But its funny though! Hahaha!

Blogs nowadays are springing around like mushrooms. Some are blogging for interest, some are to entertain others, some are in it for making money and some are to express themselves.

I for myself, was exposed to blogs when I was in my last semester of education. It all started out as a hobby to kill off available free time. Then, I was not as committed as I am right now. When I entered into the working world, I was too busy to even dedicate a part of my time to it. Hence, if you browse my list of blogs, you would see that I was inactive for some time.

Recently, I was beginning to ask myself: What blogging is to me? I need to clarify with myself first as it will decide on how much amount of time I should dedicate myself to my blog.

Out of all the reasons there are in the world, I believe that the number one factor I love about blogging is because I love to write (or type). By just writing, I feel happy whenever I write. Let it be about my daily life or my personal opinion, blogging just gave me a sense of satisfaction after I've completed my topic.

My love to write was cultivated from my love to read. I have to thank my nephews for that for they were the ones who introduced me to my favourite author, Raymond E. Feist. I've been reading his books since the age of 13 and I was impressed by his writing skills. His ability to create a fantasy world just amazes me. His descriptive writing contributes to his ability to bring the world in a lively manner. From forest to cities to castles to seas. He is such a gifted man.

Apart from my love to write, I love to express myself. Since I hardly find anyone I can express all my feelings to, my blog is a venue for me to share how I feel. Hence, sometimes, you will sometimes see that I'm grumbling over trivial issues. As such, I would advice my dear readers to be patient and calm. And if I have offended someone previously and if in the near future I have offended any of you, I pray for your forgiveness. I would also like to hear comment on your side.

Well, that's what blogging means to me. If you are blogging, share me some of your thoughts on why you blog?

I would be reading a book.
I would be at home sleeping.
I would be blogging.
I would be playing games.
I would be listening to music.
I would be packing my clothes to send to laundry.

But I’ve traded all of this just to have a moment with my ex-colleagues. However, the return from all of these is not up to my expectation. In fact, I felt very disappointed that I had not made the right choice. Some things are worth given up for we value that matter highly enough. It is called expectation. However, if our expectation is not met, then we would most likely be disappointed.

Since, I’ve wasted my time, I better catch up for the lost time I’ve made. Better read, listen to music, blogging (doing it right now) and then sleep.

Yes! It is the truth! That is what I’m feeling right now.

But if you were me, I believe you would understand how I feel.

Imagine that all of your effort that you have poured out is not appreciated and people who benefited from it are ignorant of the fact that you had done so much for them. It seems that my effort is insignificant as no one would take a minute and thought that I did much for them. And when I approach them face to face, there are some who does not seemed to pay attention to me. Asking twice is enough for me. I'll just let it slide and remain cool and calm.

I don’t ask for people to say ‘Thank you’. I would trade those 2 words for just a commitment for to spend their short time on me to reply my e-mail or pay attention to me.

Fine... better not expect that much. Hence, better not organize or plan anything.

"There are many ways to love someone. Sometimes we want to love so much, we're not too choosy about who we love. Other times we make love such a pure and noble thing, no poor human can ever meet our vision." - Laurie from the book Magician: Master by Raymond E. Feist.

A month ago on one fine day, I teased my friend about her new found love. I happened to saw her with the guy on the day that she was supposed to meet us. But I don't blame her as the invitation for the outing was sort of last minute. Suddenly, the conversation turned towards me.

RD: 'So... How about you? Any people on the horizon of your life?'

Me: 'Dunno lar. Seems like I have a wandering heart.'

I made a very true statement. I really had no idea what made me feel that way.

That is until when I read that particular phrase from a novel by my fauvorite author. I was captivated by that statement made by Laurie. It was clear and it made sense in that particular moment eventhough I have read that book for about 6 times.

My mind began to wander about my position in terms of love. Questions started to developed in my mind one by one. Am I one of those people who thinks love is so pure and noble? Am I that choosy? Do I really think that no one will meet my criteria? Or was it because I viewed my first love something so noble that I'm afraid no one can match it? I just really don't know. Perhaps I'm just exaggerating or perhaps I'm not. But the truth is I really don't have an answer for those questions. I think my heart is making the decision for me.

Call me old fashion. Call me out of date. But it seems that whom I love would be most likely influenced by how my heart feels. Yes. It is subjective and hard. But something in life is unexplainable. You just can't seem to find the word.

In the book, Laurie continued, "But for the most part, love is a recognition, an opportunity to say, 'There is something about you that I cherish.'"

I hope that I would reach that stage. But time will come. Let it be pre-ordained by God as to who will be the person that I would pour out my heart to as well as the timing of such a situation where I will say this particular sentence: 'There is something about you that I cherish'. Until then, I will continue to live the life that I had with me right now.

I have been in the working force for almost 3 years now. As my line of work involves ethics and professionalism, I was educated on work ethics when I was studying as well as internal training organized by my ex-employer. Even if none of you were exposed to such subjects during your studies or training, I believe that you would know the principle of accountability when you started your work. Accountability is defined as obligation or willingness to take responsibility for one's own action.

Today, I was enraged when I read the heading of our local newspaper. From that particular article, I perceived that the person making such a statement is one big idiot who is ignorant of the word 'accountability' based on the fact that he has been in the working world much longer than me. Wake up! It was your peers (at the point of time when you were not their head) who approved those 99 risky hillside developments. They should accept the responsibility as they were given power to ensure the safety of the people who voted them into their position.

Instead, you are defending your peers and you are pushing the blame as well as the mess to these new group of people who had ousted your peers from their positions. They are the ones who is responsible for the death that has occured recently. They have betray our trust in electing them to protect us from harm.

However, I agree on the statement that he has made asking these new group of people to correct any mistakes that has been made and try to prevent it from happening again in the future. Although it is too late, but a reactive action plan should be in place to ensure that our good citizens will not be affected in the future. It is a lesson that we all must learn. In fact, wasn't it the accident that occured 15 years ago sufficient to wake all of us up to ensure that controls are there to protect people from becoming victims of that particular incident to hapen again?

I hope that the government should wake up and learn that certain things are too costly for us to learn by ourselves. I believe the death of people are one such event whereby the cost is too much for everyone of us to bear. Our leaders should learn to observe what is happening in other countries as well. Learning from the experiences from other countries will ensure that our country would move forward in terms of economic, safety, technology etc. that could enable our country to compete with economic giants such as America.

El Cerdo in KL. Situated in Changkat Bukit Bintang, El Cerdo is a fine dining restaurant. With highly skilled waiters tending to your need, good food cooked to you by skilled chefs and the great ambience (if you don't mind to hear the sound of china cracking every 5 to 10 minutes during dinner time) and decorations . What else can I say. A really good place to eat but at a whopping price.

If you went to have a look at their website (elcerdokl.com), then you would know that their main dishes or servings would be PORK! Yup! That's right! Pork! Non-Halal! Which means you wouldn't be seeing any Muslim folks around. Only Chinese and foreigners dining in the restaurant.

Too bad that I did not bring my camera. The food is tasty and the food presentation is nice. Here are some of the food that I ate at the restaurant:

Appetizer - "Baquorones" (Bacon stuffed with White Wine marinated with Anchovies, fried with olive oil, served with olive oil and tartar sauce)
This is recommended by one of their waiters. And there is no regreat at all after your first bite. Juicy and tasty. Although, the serving is small (only four small piece), the price of RM25.90 (after imputing 5% Govt Tax & 10% Service Charge) is worth it.

Main Dish #1 - Fettucini Pasta (with Cauliflower, Bacon & in Cheese Sauce)
Nothing special about this. The taste is not bad. Not a recommended dish especially when you have to fork out RM29.90 (after tax & service charge).

Main Dish #2 - Roasted Suckling Pig “Cochinillo Al Estilo Segoviano” Half Piglet for 2 person

Ahhh.... the main dish! If you are first time there, you may wonder why are there so much noise of breaking china. Well, the answer is because of this main dish. Their famous and most ordered dish in their fine establishment. For this particular dish, we were served by the German owner and he told us the story of this particular dish and why you have to chop the piglet with the china (plate) and the reason for the breaking of the china used.

"This is a main dish is served in .......... (forgot the name), one of the towns in Spain. The piglet served in that particular town is delicious with its crisp skin and tender meat. Hence, to prove to their guests, they uses normal plates to cut the piglet. But before you cut the piglet, you must first make a wish. You have to choose between relationship and money. (His typical response when you choose money plus you are a Chinese: Arrr! Your Chinese customs shows!)

It is the Spanish's believes that your wishes is embodied in the blade. Hence, to make your dream come true, you have to break the china. If you wish for money, you have to hold your plate with your thumb and your second finger at the position of 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock (90 degrees and 270 degrees). If you wish for relationship, you should hold your plate at the position of 5 o'clock and 7 o'clock. Then you throw your plate into the bucket (there is a small little stone in the centre of the bucket to break the china)."

The price for this particular dish: RM118 or RM135.70 after tax & service charge. My comment? YUMMY!!! That is the most delicious and succulent piglet I ever had. It beats all the crispy pigs I ever tried served in those Chinese restaurant. The meat is plenty and juicy and the skin is crisp to perfection.

Desert - Rum & Raisin Pancake “Kaiserschmarrn”
This pancake is served with Rum & Raisin sauce with blue berries. On top of that, they add a vanilla ice cream in the center of the plate with the pancakes circling around the plate. It costs us RM25.90 after tax & service charge. The pancake was warm and the ice-cream is delicious. We really loved it.

Wine - Santa Christina Toscana Sangiovese Merlot, red (Ruby red in colour; on the nose, intense bouquet of mature fruits; on the palate well structured, harmonious, soft and very pleasing.)
Not bad for a red wine. But I'm sure there are plenty outside that is nice. Its not too dry and it is smooth. The price for this bottle: RM113.85 after tax & service charge.

The food is pricy. But no one was deterred into entering the restaurant. I was glad that I made the reservation on Thursday. It was a full house that day and the crowds continue to flow in. There is no dress code. You can see people wearing shorts and slippers dining in El Cerdo. I believe the owner is ensuring that the diners enjoy their meal as comfy as possible.

A very expensive dinner indeed. But once a while, pampering yourself with such a nice dinner with two other friends on a Saturday night is worth it. Anyway, I owe them a meal (they felt bad after I forked out RM343.85). Now they say they owe me a meal. Hehehe!

That is the most funniest song that I have heard so far. From the way he sang it, it seems more like he reading a poem but with some tones and country music to accompany it. If you listened to it, then you would know what I mean. A good classic.

Darn it! I just can't get that song out of my mind. And I left my CD in my car. :S

I heard a phrase that says "Never speak when you are angry, but listen when others are angry at you". Also, there is a phrase that says "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech that you will ever regret". The latter quote was from Ambrose Bierce. The first one, I couldn't remember where.

Today, someone has tested my patience to the limit that I can bear. I felt like stand up and shout but instead I withold myself and continue to work. But still, anger is still shown on my face.

But suddenly, the first phrase jumped out into my mind. And somehow, I managed to control myself as to not to tell anyone why I'm angry or with whom I'm angry at. I can testify that it is very hard to do. I can't even keep a straight face as my facial expression has betrayed myself. But yet I managed to control myself from speaking about it.

I reasoned with myself that speaking about it would not only create harm to others, but it will also create harm to myself. Why would I create such a scene if it is only benefits myself in such a short term? I will let others to do their guess work as to why am I angry. At least I've protected myself although I agree that the protection is minimal at best.

Now I must learn to look calm although pretending to be calm is lying to myself. But if it avoids further confrontation with others and minimises conflict with others, it will benefit a larger crowd. And thinking about that would be much wiser. As for releasing my anger, I believe that I need to find a way or activity to channel this feeling out. Maybe a long walk would do the trick. ^^