Recently I have been asked for an advice by a friend of mine. It is normal that when we reach at the juncture of a road and do not know which road to take, we would usually look for someone for consultation. Instead of charging consultation fees, we transacted using ‘deeds and favors’ currency.
The key to giving good advices is to be patient, a criterion required to be a good listener first. Before an advice is given, it would be the best if we are able to understand the whole scenario that leads to the point of indecision. After all, this is to avoid giving a rush advice without examining what other solutions are there.
However, recent events from one particular person, who has a long on-going issue that still has not yet resolved, really made me blow my top. Not only me actually. My friend refused even to listen to him and his problems. Me? Imagine this: I received his SMS on a Friday afternoon to ask me whether I’m back from my holiday. I looked at the SMS in a dreaded manner and replied to him whether he has something urgent to look for me. Then that bugger only called me at 12.40 a.m. MONDAY! On such a dreadful hour when I had to wake up in the next few hours time to get ready for work! He apologized stating he has no time to call me before this (he doesn’t sound convincing enough to me). But my brain was thinking: he has Friday night, Saturday and Sunday the whole day and yet he can’t find a proper time to ask me for advice?
The worst part is: I felt like it is a waste of time for me to give him advice. He has arguments on both sides of the road that he could take and all of the arguments on both sides are valid points. But still he has yet to able to decide as he doesn’t know the value of each option contemplated. It is kind of frustrating when we give our opinions and he is able to refute it with his own justification. When prompt him to go the other way, then he argue of going the other way. He comes out with arguments and yet he can’t decide! Perhaps that is the reason why I feel annoyed in giving my advice to him (only him I might add).
If he doesn’t know how to value which option yields a higher happiness rating than the other, how can we value it for him? We don’t live his life. We don’t know which option would make him feel happy. He seems confused as to what will make him happy. If he is confused about that, how are we able to help him?
Perhaps I should just develop a business process and policy in how I operate when it comes to giving advice especially him. Perhaps I should just list down my criteria and ask him to meet my criteria first before we even discuss about it. Or perhaps prepare a checklist and ask him to fill it up first. LOL!
1 Comments:
bro, the BEST advise you can give this guy is to stare him with cock eye until he blinks first, then everytime he blinks, smack him in the head with a fish!!! (yes, that smelly big tuna you can get from Tesco. wait for it to defrost abit before using it or you might be called for an 'interview' at Bukit Aman).
one can ask for all the advise one can get but in the end it's one's decision what to do. i think this fren of yours is just too scared of making decisions. tell him that you have given all the advise you can give and until he makes a dicision like the man that he is, his presence not welcomed in the vicinity of your boundaries of existence!!!
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